you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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