I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
