Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
