so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
