I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Enjoy the penises
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
