She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
