Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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