carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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