I want to stick my p in your. b.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
