He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
