She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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