pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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