I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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