he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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