if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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