If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
