There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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