Can i not drive my cunt home
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
