Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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