The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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