Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
