she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
