yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
