True but thats because hes a fetus.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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