Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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