ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The best revenge is premature balding
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
