I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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