walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
the raccoons are back...
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