Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
