try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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