Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
