it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
