I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize