every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
