its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
