FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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