I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize