How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize