just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
