I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish I could teleport
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
