Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
