my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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