Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
