If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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