What a fucking waste of an outfit
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
