they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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