Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize