i may or may not be watching the land before time
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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