I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
