it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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