I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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