Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
last night I used snow as a chaser
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
