Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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