I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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