sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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