Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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