Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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