I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we made out on top of his cat.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
