I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
