There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
