Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
