Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
